I know I’ve been missing for basically a month now. It has been a crazy December between trying to plan for my birthday and Christmas and my dad having his shoulder replaced. I slipped into a major funk. Have you ever been so sad/upset about life that you just don’t feel like doing anything? That is how I’ve been for most of December. I know I have a lot to be happy and grateful about but I just can’t get passed this nagging feeling of wanting more. There is more that I want to be doing for the gluten free community, there is more I want to show Riley.. there is more that I want for my own happiness. And its not even objects that I want or feel that I’m lacking, though a Macbook Pro would be amazing. I want something different than the day in day out. I want adventure.
I love my small little town and I had a great childhood here but there isn’t much for me here these days. Most of my friends live in other states . My heart lives half way across the world. Riley is the reason I’m still here. If he didn’t love his school and friends so much, we would be somewhere else by now. I can’t justify uprooting him for my own wanderlust. But at the same time I struggle with the question of how unhappy do I allow myself to get before thats not good for Ry either… The constant mom guilt struggle of can I allow myself to be first for once?
I’m tired of sharing my dreams/ideas/projects and getting no feed back or negative feed back. I want to surround myself with people that understand gluten free, people that understand the need to express themselves creatively, with people that want more out of life than surviving the day to day. I want have someone that I can tell my crazy ideas to and his response is how can we make this happen.
I know getting out of this funk starts with me and how I handle the daily bullshit. I’ve made a point to do more with Riley and enjoy him. I’ve been venting out my frustrations more so that I can let the stress go. I’m going to try and travel more this year. See new places, just not stay stuck. And I’ve made the decision to get back to blogging more often. I miss it. It is my creative outlet. Trying a new recipe is such a stress relief to me.
I need some help for you guys too! Leave comments/feedback. Let me know people are actually reading WCWBFs. Google chat with me whycantwheatbefriends about the gluten free lifestyle and the struggles. Follow me on instagram. Send me recipes!
Now back to the product reviews and recipes! And be prepared to start celebrating Valentine’s Day.